"I want a man who takes care of his body. Goes to the gym one in while. Not the bodybuilder types with veins ready to pop out but he should have big strong arms and a six pack wouldn't hurt a well chiseled torso. I'm only into looks but the section requires me to state the body type I fancy on my desired man."
This is what women (or should i say girls and butt pirates) usually put on their Bios when looking for mates. Why this is attractive? I don't know. Not that there is anything wrong with that, its just that your standards are just out just plain stupid.
These tall, dark and handsome men you like so much are ASSHOLES. Literally!!! Ok, not literally but the similarities are uncanny. Which means they can be mistaken for an actual asshole (especially by me and the rest of the world). Why?
1. They are usually dark (or tan for Caucasian people)
2. They don't smell so great unless thoroughly cleaned. Douche them if necessary.
3. Just poking them can stir up a shit storm (te he he).
4. They are always uptight. Only weak one relax but not by choice.
5. When they open up, it's usually shit that come out.
6. They are all muscle. I mean every part is a muscle, just like a sphincter which is all muscle.
Now, come on. Lift that dead weight. Run on that treadmill. Drop and give me 500 push ups. Drink those protein shakes (which makes your farts smell like the pit latrine of the local abortionist). Get lean and mean. Because, you never know. One day you might meet a lady who wants you to help her open a bottle of Black Cat Crunchy peanut butter with just your ass cheeks. Or you could show do your party trick of lifting a sack of butternuts with just your nipples.
Go on. GE RIPPED! Become a nought between the cheeks.
