what grinds my balls.

4. False advertising. Don't get me wrong. I like advertising. The creativity. The lifestyle it sells. The different vantage point of looking at a product. It's awesome. The only rock in my shoe is when the product doesn't deliver. What's worse, is when it doesn't even do what it says it does. At the moment, I'm properly pissed at Brookes' Oros orange squash. As you know or may not know, it's summer down here in the south of the equator and it's blazing in Botswana. Charcoal is the in skin tone. Refreshment is critical in this weather.
There is nothing quite as refreshing as a nice cold Fresca on a hot summer day especially wearing flip-flops. That's because 'NOTHING ON EARTH TASTES LIKE FRESCA.' I wonder what ever happened to Fresca? Probably high levels of heavy metals found in it. Anyway, after Fresca comes Brookes' Oros orange squash, commonly known as Oros or Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh Oros. This is one beverage and a half and then some. For decades (actually only 2) i have enjoyed the way it teases my mouth, flashes it's underwear at me and finally give it's merry fruit. Sweet Black Jesus! I love how the last drop circumnavigates around the ice cubes and hits the taste bud g-spot and I exhale heavily as I usually drink it all in one go. Yeah, it's a beautiful thing.

Now, If you read closely on the sticker plastered on the 2L bottle, there is a portion which says "Makes 8 litres." This got me excited and confused like that one time in Standard 3 my privates got rigor mortis. I bought the 2L Oros and carefully placed three empty 2L bottles around it. Day 1 passed. Nothing. Day 2 passed. Nothing. Day 3 passed. Still, nothing. I don't know what it was supposed to make 8L of but i know i was ripped off. Stupid Oros just sat there in the pantry, staring at the empty bottles.

*Somebody, i'm assuming he is an expert at padded cells, said when i dilute 1 part Oros with 3 parts of water i should get 8L. This Cro magnon obviously can't read. It says "Makes 8 litres" NOT "Make 8 litres."